It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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