I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
