we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
