Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
