scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
