He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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