I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
