She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
