i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Randomize
