If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
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