Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
