And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
