There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
