she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
