Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
