You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I just gift wrapped bread.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What a dumb baby whore.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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