What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
