omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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