How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Barsexuality is the new black.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
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