u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize