And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize