I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize