hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
But we have bathrooms and they dont
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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