I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
