why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Shame is for Republicans.
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