wake up i wanna do it froggy style
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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