dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Randomize
