Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize