yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
