I think i peed on brittanys purse
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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