i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Randomize
