You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
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