You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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