every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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