all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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