I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
