Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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