Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize
