UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Randomize
