Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
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