ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Randomize