There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize