I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
we made out on top of his cat.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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