So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
