i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Randomize
