i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
