i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
