I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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