You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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