that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
