Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
