I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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