I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Randomize
