I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
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