why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
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come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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