just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
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