he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize