Little spoons don't ask big questions
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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