12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
