I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
