i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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