i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Randomize
