i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
