4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
