Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
