We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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