Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
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So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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