i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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