I want to stick my p in your. b.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Your penis caused this!
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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