we should wear snuggies to the strip club
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
