Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
